Castro Valley, California (EastBayDaily) — Over 7000 people die every day in the United States. How many leave behind at least one sibling? Being a sibling survivor can be a very lonely experience. Zander Sprague’s sister Lucy was brutally murdered in her Chicago apartment in 1996, the number one question he experienced in his own mind for years was–Why?
“For years Lucy’s death haunted me,” stated Sprague. “I went over the crime scene details, combed through all of the evidence and tried to make sense of what I felt was a senseless act. The isolation I experienced was almost too great to bear and I became angry and resentful.”
Sprague, a coach and father of two worked along with four friends who also lost siblings and penned a book Making Lemonade: Choosing A Positive Pathway After Losing Your Sibling which emphasizes the fact that you have a choice on how you want to deal with your loss. The book’s workshops created a groundswell across the country populated with sibling survivors still wrestling with their loss.
“I realized quickly through my own experience that you might be prepared for lots of things in your life, losing your sibling is not one of them,” states Sprague. “In the coming weeks Jennifer will feel as if she has fallen off a cliff. Both Jennifer and her sister will be left to try to reconcile these horrific events. I quickly came to realize that I alone must choose a path to healing and recovery. So, to will the Hudson’s.”
Here are some tips: 1. Talk to someone, anyone. Find someone who you feel comfortable with to talk about all the feelings you are having. Seek professional grief counseling if possible. Keeping the emotions inside will only add to the depression that is sure to follow. 2. Find a creative outlet to channel your grief. Writing about your loss in a journal will help you release some of the anger, pain and resentment. 3. When you have a reminder of your sibling, use it as an opportunity to honor them whether it is with laughter or sharing a story; it is a way to work through the hurt. The question will always linger why my family and me? There will never be a good enough answer to this question. People are sometimes inhumane and cruel and their actions will never make any sense. Sadly, none of us are immune to violence and senseless death.
“Jennifer and her sister have a choice,” states Sprague. “Do they pull the preverbal covers over their head, or do they make a conscience choice every day to create something positive out of this horrific event.” Sprague continues,” I choose everyday whether I want to talk about my sister and to define my loss not have it define me. Siblings are the ‘Lost’ survivors of death. I am personally on a mission to have us all be found.”
Contact: Zander Sprague zander @ zandersprague.com Ph: 510-828-8715 http://www.making-lemonade.com
Zander Sprague & Co